24: A Year of Travel and Insight

When I first started a blog, I did it for a class assignment. Up until recently, I thought that no one, outside of close family, really gave any merit to the words I wrote. And why should they? There are far more talented writers, more traveled and knowledgable people, out there. Yet, more often than I ever would have thought, I've been met with questions about why I have stopped the updates about where life has taken me thus far. So for those of you who believe what I have to say still holds substance, thank you. In a very noisy world, the value of listening cannot be overstated.

It's been a year since I've last sat down and written about the takeaways from life experiences. Last time, I sat in a noisy cafe in Florence, Italy. My life was very different then. Over this past year I've been lucky enough to travel the world. I've lived in Europe and got the opportunity to see roughly 14 countries. From an outside perspective, the social media interpretation presented a perfect life.

With hesitation and an understanding that my words may come across as ungrateful, it wasn't.

People would always assume that the travel was my favorite aspect of the job. Rather, the fact that I could use this platform as a catalyst to meet a plethora of new people every single day was my biggest motivator. For anyone that has kept up with my writings to this point, you will find it as no surprise that the overall theme of yet another post will revolve around the value of relationships.

Since returning to the States, I've been met time and time again with phrases like, "Why did you ever leave?" and "Do you miss it?". These are tough questions to answer. I have been very blessed to see the things I've seen, do the things I've done, and meet the people I've met, but I'm much happier here at home. To offer some insight, in Europe, working for the company I worked for was similar to being the football star on campus. Everyone knew your name, you were met with free food and drinks when out at night, and you could live a lifestyle with little consequence. For a while, it seemed like the pinnacle of any post college job opportunity. Yet, for the most part, it was shallow. I would confide in certain people that I was not the person I wanted to be while working overseas. Although I believe one has the ability to rise above their circumstances and live in accordance to whatever moral code they believe is right, I will admit that I am not that strong. In order to develop my character in the direction I wanted, I needed to take hold of what I truly valued. Which, as you may have already gathered, brings us back to an investment in genuine relationships.

Furthering this point, here's what a nearly 80-year-old Harvard study had to say on the subject:

"Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. That finding proved true across the board among both the Harvard men and the inner-city participants."

Ask yourself when you are happiest. If you are like me, it is not circumstantial based on the activity. No, for me it is far more dependent on depth of community present in that moment. I had my best friend Drew take time off for the first time in 3 years so he could visit me. I had Nolan call while I was abroad because he missed me (He'll never admit that). I had Samantha reach out to me for life advice because she truly valued what I had to say. I had Rhoman show me how proud he was of his report card. I had people sacrifice time and effort because they valued a relationship with me. That is a fiercely humbling experience that I hope to never take for granted.

I am a realist however. I know that relationships, good and bad, may be fleeting. Years ago, I was given this poem at a very transitional point in my life and it still holds true.

"Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.
People.
People important to you,
People unimportant to you cross your life, touch it with love and move on.
There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief and wonder why you ever came into contact with them.
There are people who leave you, and you breathe a sigh of remorse and wonder why they had to go and leave such a gaping hole.
Children leave parents, friends leave friends. Acquaintances move on. People change homes.
People grow apart. Enemies hate and move on. Friends love and move on.
You think of the many people who have moved in and out of your hazy memory.
You look at those present and wonder.
I believe in God's master plan in our lives.
God moves people in and out of each other's lives, and each leaves a mark on the other.
You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who have ever touched your life.
You are more because of them, and would be less if they had not touched you.
Pray that you accept the bits and pieces in humility and wonder, and never question and never regret.
Bits and pieces, bits and pieces."

-Lois Cheney

I come back to the above poem a lot. It allows me to be content in the evolution of our journeys. No matter who you meet and the depth of impact they have, they will continue to live on through your character.

So what now? New house, new car, new church up here in Portland. It is yet another step of progression into trying to figure out this whole life thing. And, to be honest, I'm less confident in my abilities now than I ever have been before. Yet, if there is one thing I hold on to, it's the people. I may not be good at a lot of things, but I hope I can be the person that lets others know they are valued.

23 was a good year with humbling experiences. Here's to 24.